Poem: It’s going to hurt me more

Missions Inc.Domestic Violence

Content Warning: This poem contains descriptions of domestic violence.

This poem was shared by Yandia Best to shed light on experiences with domestic violence.

Best wanted to share her poems because they can mirror the experiences of others going through similar experiences, particularly those on the fence about leaving an abuser.

You could be on the fence because the abuser is not physically hitting you, but their words are crushing your self-esteem and diminishing your spirit and sense of peace and wholeness by making you feel ashamed and undignified.  And that is definitely a reason to leave.

It’s Gonna Hurt Me More

By Yandia Best

I can see you biting your lip

The way you do

When you know you’re in trouble

Or at a disadvantage

You’ve put me down

Made it impossible

For me to get to work

Refuse to reveal how much money you make

Blame me for being pregnant

Disallow me to challenge you

Use my child to relay threatening messages

You treat my family like sh*t

And you expect me to stay with you?

Your words were

“Back home, someone can do something

to the other person

And they can still stay together!”


If I stay

It’s gonna hurt me more

If I stay                                                    

I can expect more of the same

If I stay

I’m accepting the status quo

I’ve been around this block

Long enough to know

What will happen and keep happening

If I stay.

I’ll never be good enough

I’ll always be wrong for challenging you

There will always be a double standard

I’ll never be able to trust you again

My life will always be in limbo

And I will be passing on the generational curse

Of domestic abuse

To my children

That my family passed on to me.


I would always feel like

A single mom

You’ll never really want to know me

I’ll always be here

Just to fill a female role

But never appreciated

For who I am

To you

To our children

To my family

To my profession

To my country

To my world

For you’ve never

Once or twice said

I appreciate you

You look beautiful

Happy Birthday

Happy Mother’s Day

Congratulations on your graduation

Let me feel the baby

Is she moving a lot?

How do you feel?

I could go on and on.

My decision is final.

There’s no no no no turning back.

I’m, We’re, moving on

To greener, greener emotional